However, all my fellow pastors out there may understand that there are times in our lives and ministry where we just don't have anything to say. I'm not talking about those moments of heartbreak or disaster where we are expected to have life-changing advice; which, by the way, only comes from God Himself and His Word. I'm also not talking about those times when we are so frustrated by a person or situation that we would rather keep our mouths shut than spew out words that will then be placed on a platform for open criticism. While those are times when it is very evident that we are human and don't really have much of anything we can say (or want to say), I'm talking about something entirely different.
I feel sometimes that as a pastor I am expected to constantly be able to crank out blogs, Facebook posts, videos and sermons that are rich in theology and practical life advice. Sometimes I feel like I am supposed to offer an opinion on every single current event and how it relates to what God has to say. When I'm in a small group discussion or sitting at a dinner table theology session, I feel the urge to always be ready give some sort of opinion or insight.
But truthfully, sometimes I have nothing to say.
Sometimes, I would prefer to sit back and be encouraged by the voices of my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ; to be ministered to as they share their insights. Often, I don't want to weigh in on current events because I don't have an opinion or I feel like there are so many other things that are of much more importance; like my time with Jesus, or my time with my wife.
I completely understand that God has placed me in a role where people want to hear what I have to say. That as a pastor I have a unique voice in the church and it's important that I share what God lays on my heart. But sometimes, God is teaching me things in silence that even I'm not comprehending at the moment. Sometimes, I am learning tough truths that are going to take a while for me to get a handle on and I'm not quite ready to write a blog on those things.
Maybe you think this is silly and that I don't have to always have something to say. Maybe I'm the only pastor who feels this way at times. But, what I think so many Christians don't understand about pastors is that we are human. We actually struggle in many of the same ways that you do. It's possible that your pastors's silence on an issue you wish he would weigh in on is only evidence to the fact that he is as confused as you are. It's possible that when we don't have much to say, we are desperately seeking the face of God for Him to speak clearly so we can have something to say.
For too long, I have let myself believe that these moments of silence in my own life are either evidence of spiritual maturity, or a spiritual drought. While both of those may be the case at times, I think more often than not, it's just that we simply don't have anything to say. While there are times when even if I don't want to, I must speak out as a pastor, there are also times when everyone wants me to speak, that I just don't need to; nor does God want me to.
I think of Jesus who "When he was accused by the chief priests and the elders, he gave no answer" (Matthew 27:12). Everyone probably wanted to hear what He had to say in this moment, but He needed to carry out His mission before He needed to say something in these moments. Besides, Jesus had already said everything He needed to say and done everything He needed to do (John 17:4).
I haven't quite figured out these periods of silence as a pastor, but I do know that to feel the need to always have something to say undermines the sufficiency of Christ and the Word. I do know that I am human and would prefer to seek the Truth before I blurt out an opinion. I know that the wisest man to ever live said "The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things" (Proverbs 15:28)
**I have to point out the irony that I wrote a blog about having nothing to say. I'm not totally oblivious**
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