When a Pastor Has Nothing to Say

I really like to write. I also really enjoy long conversations on topics of personal interest. I have the privilege of being a Student Pastor and as a result, get to preach sermons of 20-45 minutes rather frequently. So I guess you can say that most of the time I have something to say.

However, all my fellow pastors out there may understand that there are times in our lives and ministry where we just don't have anything to say. I'm not talking about those moments of heartbreak or disaster where we are expected to have life-changing advice; which, by the way, only comes from God Himself and His Word. I'm also not talking about those times when we are so frustrated by a person or situation that we would rather keep our mouths shut than spew out words that will then be placed on a platform for open criticism. While those are times when it is very evident that we are human and don't really have much of anything we can say (or want to say), I'm talking about something entirely different.

I feel sometimes that as a pastor I am expected to constantly be able to crank out blogs, Facebook posts, videos and sermons that are rich in theology and practical life advice. Sometimes I feel like I am supposed to offer an opinion on every single current event and how it relates to what God has to say. When I'm in a small group discussion or sitting at a dinner table theology session, I feel the urge to always be ready give some sort of opinion or insight.

But truthfully, sometimes I have nothing to say.

Sometimes, I would prefer to sit back and be encouraged by the voices of my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ; to be ministered to as they share their insights. Often, I don't want to weigh in on current events because I don't have an opinion or I feel like there are so many other things that are of much more importance; like my time with Jesus, or my time with my wife.

I completely understand that God has placed me in a role where people want to hear what I have to say. That as a pastor I have a unique voice in the church and it's important that I share what God lays on my heart. But sometimes, God is teaching me things in silence that even I'm not comprehending at the moment. Sometimes, I am learning tough truths that are going to take a while for me to get a handle on and I'm not quite ready to write a blog on those things.

Maybe you think this is silly and that I don't have to always have something to say. Maybe I'm the only pastor who feels this way at times. But, what I think so many Christians don't understand about pastors is that we are human. We actually struggle in many of the same ways that you do. It's possible that your pastors's silence on an issue you wish he would weigh in on is only evidence to the fact that he is as confused as you are. It's possible that when we don't have much to say, we are desperately seeking the face of God for Him to speak clearly so we can have something to say.

For too long, I have let myself believe that these moments of silence in my own life are either evidence of spiritual maturity, or a spiritual drought. While both of those may be the case at times, I think more often than not, it's just that we simply don't have anything to say. While there are times when even if I don't want to, I must speak out as a pastor, there are also times when everyone wants me to speak, that I just don't need to; nor does God want me to.

I think of Jesus who "When he was accused by the chief priests and the elders, he gave no answer" (Matthew 27:12). Everyone probably wanted to hear what He had to say in this moment, but He needed to carry out His mission before He needed to say something in these moments. Besides, Jesus had already said everything He needed to say and done everything He needed to do (John 17:4).

I haven't quite figured out these periods of silence as a pastor, but I do know that to feel the need to always have something to say undermines the sufficiency of Christ and the Word. I do know that I am human and would prefer to seek the Truth before I blurt out an opinion. I know that the wisest man to ever live said "The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things" (Proverbs 15:28)

**I have to point out the irony that I wrote a blog about having nothing to say. I'm not totally oblivious**

The Idols Christians Worship

Picture this: it's about 1 o'clock on a Sunday afternoon. You have met up for lunch with a few of your fellow church members after the Sunday service and conversation begins about the service you just had. How many times does this conversation turn into you talking about Jesus and how amazing He is? If you're anything like me, you begin talking about the different aspects of the church service; what you liked and didn't like.

How about your small groups (if you attend one) or just your circle of Christian friends? When you get together to discuss theology and life in general, how much of the conversation is actually focused solely on Jesus? When we sing songs, read devotionals, dive into the latest book from our favorite Christian author, crack open that new CD release by our favorite worship band or anything of the sort, where does our focus go?

It seems to me that we love to celebrate all of those things more frequently and more emphatically than Jesus. It's not just that we defend our preferences when it comes to worship, we actually have begun to worship our preferences.

That is idolatry.

We think worship is an end in an of itself, but worship is simply a means to an end, or rather, The End  - Jesus. Do you realize that the songs we sing, the books we read and even the Bible that we study are all meant to point us to Jesus? I'm sure we would say that we agree with that statement, but how often do we worship methods over Messiah?

There should be times in the middle of a 'worship set' during the church service that you can't sing because you are completely undone by The One you are singing to. When you're out to lunch with friends after church, the conversation should be about Jesus because you all experienced His Presence in a new way that week.

Don't misunderstand me here, I am all for excellence in what we do. It's okay and even healthy at times to critique and analyze our methods. There is nothing sinful about preferring a certain method or style of worship. It can be a good thing to have a favorite author or artist whom you talk about and share their work with others. But if those things and those people are your objects of affection, then you have an idol.

We treat songs, books, artists, ect. as if they are infallible. We hold them up on a pedestal and treat them as if they are perfect and they are the reasons we worship. But ask yourself: if there was no music, or books or art, would God still be God? And if so, would He still be worthy of worship? Then the question comes: Have I been worshipping God or the things that are supposed to point me to Him?

I'll quote Ross King and tell you:

"Anything I put before my God is an idol.
Anything I want with all my heart is an idol.
Anything I can't stop thinking of is an idol.
Anything that I give all my love is an idol.
We must not worship something that's not even worth it.
Clear the stage and make some space for the one who deserves it."

So what or whom fits one of those descriptions above for you? If it's anything or anyone but Jesus, you have an idol. Get real honest with yourself here as I remind you of Jonah 2:8 - "Those who pay regard to vain idols forsake their hope of steadfast love."

Everything that we worship in this life other than Jesus is simply a shadow of the One we really long for. It's about time we started believing that. I have a feeling that if we began to worship Jesus and only Jesus, our conversations after church and every moment would radically change. Our church services themselves would actually change. What people say about our churches would actually change. EVERYTHING would change because Jesus changes everything!

I would be remiss if I did not give credit to C.S. Lewis for sparking these thoughts in me today. I read a quote of his earlier that I will close this post with:

"The books or the music in which we thought the beauty was located will betray us if we trust to them; it was not in them, it only came through them, and what came through them was longing. These things—the beauty, the memory of our own past—are good images of what we really desire; but if they are mistaken for the thing itself, they turn into dumb idols, breaking the hearts of their worshipers. For they are not the thing itself; they are only the scent of a flower we have not found, the echo of the tune we have not heard, news from a country we have never yet visited."