Ephesians 5 is the foundation for this thought by the way. Paul says things in here like "submit to one another" (Ephesians 5:21) and "let each one of you love his wife as himself" (Ephesians 5:33). I just don't buy the idea that in order to be a leader, you should call all the shots. But I struggle with this. Jenna will ask me to do something a certain way and I feel it is my right as the 'leader' of the home to tell her how it really should be done.
There is this subtle, yet powerful thought process in me (and most men) that in order to be a man, you must not back down from your beliefs and to listen to your wife's requests all the time means that she wears the pants in the family. Why is it that a man who chooses to favor his wife's desires over his own is labeled as 'whipped?' Why do we not celebrate men who are strong enough to put their wife's interests before their own?
Men also struggle with an innate desire to be right; all the time! We feel defeated when proven wrong; especially by our wives. But why? If marriage is a partnership (granted we each play unique roles), then why can't we admit that we are wrong and rejoice that we have a wife who is right? Sounds almost counterintuitive doesn't it?
I mean, I'm the man of the house. I am supposed to play the role of Jesus loving His bride (the church), which means I should call all the shots like Jesus right? Since Jesus is always right and I am supposed to display Him through my marriage, then I'm never wrong right? Wrong. You and I are still humans in need of a Savior. Besides, we are called to display Christ's LOVE in this relationship (Ephesians 5:25).Let me be clear here: wives are called to submit to their husbands as head of the household and should never be in authority over him concerning serious decisions that affect the entire family. As long as the husband is acting in accordance with the Word of God and is humbly playing his role, the wife has no need to jump in anyway. Women should also celebrate when they have a godly husband who is mature enough in his faith to call the shots and call them well. So do not think I am saying that a woman can play the husband's role when she feels the desire to do so.
I'm talking about the simple, everyday stuff like taking out the trash. When your wife thinks it's time to do it guys, then you don't have any reason to backfire. When your wife thinks tonight is a good night for a date, you would not be loving her as Christ loves His church if you give her every reason why you shouldn't.
Being the head of the household never means that you get the final say on every detail of your lives. It means you are able to lead well with the input from your wife. It means you are on a journey together to become more like Jesus. Never slack on your role as head, but never lord it over your wife either.
Put her needs AND wants before your own, even when it makes you uncomfortable. Unconditional love includes serving your wife when you least feel like doing so. It's human to disagree with the way she wants you to do things sometimes; but do it anyway. It's normal to get frustrated when you want to relax and she wants help with the housework; serve her like Jesus serves His bride. Cherish her in everything and never think of yourself as too much of a man to wash her feet in every way possible. Besides, you aren't being a man by lording your role as the head over her; you're being a jerk and you are acting nothing like Jesus in those times.
Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and GAVE HIMSELF UP for her.
No comments:
Post a Comment