Are You With Me?

Have you ever tried to have a conversation with someone who wasn't paying any attention to you? That can be very frustrating but I fear it happens all too often in our society. I know that everyone is talking about how technology is ruining our social lives and I don't want to beat a dead horse, but I do want to call your attention to a very serious issue in our culture today.

It's kind of ironic but sad at the same time that in an age with the most social media websites in history, we are becoming less and less social. Video games, t.v., smartphones, tablets, computers, iPods, noise cancelling headphones and many other things are consuming our attention. We can't even go to church these days without seeing at least 5 or 6 people distracted by what's on the screen that they hold in their hands. You can sit at a table with 20 people who are supposed to be fellowshipping and about 12 or more of them will be glued to their phones, completely disengaged from the people around them.

I am not anti-technology. I own many devices and spend much time on them. I just don't buy into the lie that you can be 'spending time' with someone if you can't pull away from your device. I think technology has so many goods and I don't have a problem with checking your Facebook, e-mail or text messages occasionally when you're with others. My question is always, where are you giving most of your attention. If your friends and family are always waiting on you to finish your text message/status update/tweet before they can finish their sentence or game that you're playing, then you not only have a problem, you have an ADDICTION.

Jesus gave His full attention to the people around Him. He listened and geared in to what they were saying or doing. He never had a conversation with someone where His mind drifted somewhere else. If He wanted to get away, He would actually leave to spend time with the Father. But we escape by not moving. We simply pull out our phones and drown out the world. Why do we think this is okay?

We need to learn to be where we are. That's so simple and yet so profound; be where you are. Don't give 50% of your attention to the people around you, because you're not really with them. Give 100% to those around you. That's one way you will "Think of others as more significant than yourself" (Philippians 2:3).

Kristin Jones said this: "In an era where we have more screens than people in our homes, we have nearly lost the art of having a good old-fashioned face-to-face conversation. And it’s costing us." She is so right. As believers we are called to 'bear one another's burdens" (Galatians 6:2). How can we do that if we don't listen long enough to hear what their burdens really are.

So how do we fix this? It's really quite simple: Put your phone (or whatever it is distracting you) away! Just leave it in your pocket. If someone texts you and it's not important (99% of text messages are absolutely pointless) wait until you're not with others to text them back. When you're with friends, family or whoever, leave your phone in your pocket and be with those people wholeheartedly. Realize that the people before you are more important than whatever you are doing on your phone and listen to them. Be with them!

I realize that most people won't even reach the end of this blog post because they got a Facebook notification that they HAD to check right away. I also realize that some of you made it to the end and are asking "What's the big deal?" Or are saying that "I'm just nit-picking." I believe at the core of this is selfishness. We believe that what is on our screens is more important than the people in front of us. Face it, if you were having a conversation with your favorite celebrity, you would be fully engaged because those people are our idols and probably the only people that are worth us putting our phones away for (except maybe for a picture or two).

Don't be selfish. Be like Jesus. Engage with people. Redeem the time (Ephesians 5:16). Be with people; really with them. Especially when you're spending time with Jesus, leave your phone in another room. There is no text message or Facebook post important enough to draw you away from Him. Don't make Jesus ask what so many people around us are asking: "Are you with me?"